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Here is just one chapter for you to consider.

WHAT IS THE MATRIX?

MORPHEUS: “You take the blue pill and the story ends. You wake in your bed and you believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill and you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes. Remember that all I am offering is the truth. Nothing more.”

The Matrix by Larry and Andy Wachowsk
www.imsdb.com

What is the matrix? The matrix is a network of lies used to influence our behavior for monetary gain. Once you begin to understand this it will truly blow your mind how powerful this contrived reality is, and how destructive. This rabbit-hole goes very deep and the most amazing thing is we seem completely unaware of its existence.

FOOD

I’m going to start this journey of enlightenment by looking at food and what the matrix has done with this natural desire. I think by looking at food first you will be able to see clearly what the matrix has done with sex as well.

Food is a basic human need. We need food to survive¾ the body is made to consume it. For many sex is also a basic human need. The Apostle Paul says that some are given the gift of celibacy, but some are not and should marry, I Corinthians 7:7. For many men and women sex is not a choice, we cannot control our desire for it. But just as food is a gift that can be abused (gluttony), sex can also be abused (lust).

Eating is natural, and it is this very fact of its being natural that has made it a gold mine for those wishing to exploit it for profit. Literally everywhere you look today food is being promoted and glorified. Fast food restaurants are on every busy street in America. Every talk show on TV now has a food segment. Every morning news program has a segment on food. Food now even has its own channel. Food is big business and those selling it will stop at nothing to influence you to buy their version of it and all the things that go with it. For example “Publisher Weekly” reported on July 23, 2001 that “The U.S. is by far the leading market for cookbooks. During the year 2000, nearly 530 million cookbooks and wine books were sold, approximately 8% more than in 1999, with a 9% annual growth rate since 1996.” Chefs are also becoming more and more popular with near movie star fame. Whole stores today are devoted to selling nothing but cooking products.

Are you ready now for the truly amazing part of this story? People today can’t understand why Americans are getting fat. We, it seems, are totally unaware of the matrix’s influence on our behavior. Can you guess how much money is spent a year promoting food? Try 21 billion dollars in 2007. And yet, we can’t understand why Americans or morbidly obese. Do we really believe that corporate America is that dumb that they would spend billions of dollars on advertising and a whole plethora of marketing tricks for nothing? Could it be our belief we are the masters of our own destiny that has blinded us to the truth? This is not rocket science people. Just making food available is a type of influence, so the fact that McDonalds has built a fast food outlet on every busy street in America is going to change our eating habits.

Now for the real kicker. It doesn’t stop at selling food and everything that goes with it. No, there is still much much more money to be made. If you can get people to eat uncontrollably by glorifying food, by promoting it, by making it accessible, you can also get them to buy ways of controlling their appetite and weight gain as well. How you ask my Padawan Jedi? Sorry wrong movie. By glorify six pack abs, and slim and trim bodies? One feeds off the other, no pun intended, and it literally becomes a capitalist’s dream! They make money on both sides of the deal. They sell us fast food, cook books, cookware, cooking programs and the list goes on and on, and then they turn around and sell us diets, and weight loss programs, gym dues and exercise equipment¾ even surgeries. It is absolutely mind boggling we could be unaware of this money making dichotomy when it is literally everywhere you look. But that is part of the problem, it is everywhere. We can’t see it because it is everywhere.

Do you think companies would be spending billions of dollars on advertising if it didn’t work to the tune of a $700 billion dollar industry? And that’s just on the food side. Would they be flooding the media promoting food and diets if it didn’t work? You know it’s truly funny but most people, me included, would debate the effectiveness of advertising. And maybe advertising is not as effective as it claims, but availability is very influencing. I don’t have to tell you what the internet has done in this area when it comes to pornography. Availability is a form of influence. Advertising may just try to get us to choose between two companies products of the same type, but we still are choosing a product. Who is being the fool then? I’m afraid if you are like I was you have absolutely no idea how much you are influenced by all this. Only if you have been out of this country to a less developed one could you possibly begin to see its power. It is almost like the old sales trick, “Do you want it in blue or red?” The sales person just assumes you are going to buy, it’s just a matter of what color. Many of us don’t think we have a choice not to buy, we just think it is a matter of which thing to buy. And the lack of choice is not just limited to food, but to how we are influenced to buy the food. The choice for many today is not to turn their TV’s off, but what channel are we going to watch. The choice of turning it off never enters our mind.

What we eat is influenced by what is available and what is promoted¾ two factors almost completely controlled by the matrix. Does it matter to the matrix people are literally dying from this influence? No. Not unless it effects the bottom line of the company. McDonalds only started promoting healthy food when Wendy’s, somewhat healthier menu, started cutting into their bottom dollar. The public for a brief moment became aware of how bad for you greasy hamburgers and fries really where and changed some old habits. But don’t be fooled for a minute this was about you, it was about expanding the market and gaining market shares. The public has already forgotten about all this now anyway and are back to eating hamburgers at Hardies that could feed an entire African village. And I hope it was not lost on you how they began to promote their “Patty Melt.” Sex sells.

Our country is driven by money. It is a fact we need to open our eyes to and nothing will stop the pursuit of profit, not even people’s deaths. We have to stop being naïve about this. And looking to the government to limit business is like looking to the farmer that owns the golden goose to get rid of it. It is not about to stop capitalism. In fact if we stop spending money on things we don’t need¾ but are told we need¾ the government will give us more money. Money is the foundation now on which this country exists, not the good of the people or the will of the people. The will of the people now is determined by capitalists. Ah, money it is a wonderful thing isn’t it!

At the beginning of this chapter I said the matrix is a network of lies for monetary gain, so what is the lie when it comes to food? It really is so obvious when you see it, but the problem is we don’t see it, which is why it is a lie, it hides the truth. Paul said at the beginning of the book of Romans that truth is suppressed by unrighteousness. If everywhere you look people are living the lie it is hard to see the truth. Let me give you just a few things off the top of my head about the lie of the matrix when it comes to food. One lie is that convenience is more important than nutrition. How about that for a lie? Quantity is more important than your health. Taste is all that is important when it comes to food. These are just a few things I thought of while writing this section. I’m sure there are many more than just this, but I’m really not writing about food in this book. Just think about how the matrix has redefined what food is. Is a bowl of air infused flower and corn syrup really food, even if it is red, yellow, green and blue? Are the body’s needs really considered when we drink something that contains four hundred calories? Are we really hydrating our selves or killing ourselves should be the question. The purpose of food and drink being for the nutrition of the body has been subverted into something almost unrecognizable¾ when you look at what we as Americans consume. Lay this pattern down now to sex and see what you get. I think you will be extremely surprised.

SEX

Where do I start? The web of lies are so thick it is hard to decide which strand to follow first. But let’s start as we did with food on the money making aspect. This I believe will be a little different than you may have thought. The matrix has redefined what a woman’s sexuality is into blond hair, big breasts and a lack of body fat. Just as the matrix has redefined food as corn syrup and potato wedges soaked in fat, the matrix has redefined a woman’s sexuality as something completely external, her body. This redefining of a woman’s sexuality has created a bonanza of money making opportunities. Just think of how much hair dye, make-up, clothing, perfume, diets, and surgeries have been bought because of this lie. We even have now a whole industry built around make-overs. It almost makes food’s money making capacity look like a drop in the bucket.

This redefining of sexuality has also caused a huge shift in power to the women who are willing to subject themselves to this disguise. They are the movie stars, the super models, the recording artists, the rich and famous. Men today are completely intimidated by this new type of beauty¾ if you can call it beauty. The matrix has placed these types of women in such high places of power that men, especially the nice guys, are afraid of them. (This is hard for me as a man to admit but it’s true.) When a man sees a beautiful woman as defined by the matrix he is like a slobbering autograph seeker coming up to Tom Cruise. Who do you think has the power in that relationship? And women don’t even have to be movie stars to get that kind of power. They just have to be willing to exploit their skin. Paris Hilton is a prime example of how the matrix works. All that is necessary for a woman to gain power in this culture is a willingness to play the game. You see it is not the fact that they are beautiful that has placed them in such prominent positions in our culture. It is the matrix that has put them there in order to redefine beauty, and then it turns around and exploits that “beauty” for monetary gain.

This redefining of sexuality has caused an enormous shift in power. Hollywood and advertisers have given women with these traits, the traits they themselves have created, tremendous power. The flip side then to this soft porn you might call it, is pornography. This is like the flip side of the food thing. Men by means of the fantasy promoted by pornography exert their power over women. It is important that you understand that pornography is the answer to this cultures placement of women in power because of there sexuality. Just like food we have two sides of the same coin here. The result is another whole money making opportunity. No doubt the women exploited in soft porn do so very willingly because of the power they gain. But those in real pornography I doubt are so willing. Not to be crass here but let’s get real, do you really think women enjoy having things thrust down their throats and in places never meant for sex? Do you? It is insane that men have been convinced this is enjoyable behavior for women and that sex does not require a relationship to be meaningful. And what is even more insane is we still think it is about sex, not power.

I want to do a thought experiment with you men who have been involved in pornography to help you see exactly what I’m talking about. I want you to imagine a soft core porn star on the red carpet in Hollywood; someone like Halle Berry, Britney spears, Christina Aguilera, or the original arc type of this phenomenon Madonna. You pick one woman of which there are several you could choose from and visualize them in their usual designer clothing, trendy hair styles and flashy makeup. Then visualize standing next to them a porn star dressed in a similar fashion. What is your response to them? First you probably can’t imagine a porn star, because porn stars for the most part are not famous. This is just another hint at what is really going on, they are not famous because they are demeaned in pornography, their power is stripped from them. But let's get back to our experiment. Don’t you esteem the soft core star and despise the porn star? Doesn’t the porn star fill you with disgust when seen standing next to the matrix’s ideal version of beauty. Why? Because the one creates the need for the other, they are opposite sides of the same coin. One represents power, the other the dethronement of this power. You’ve got to get this straight in your mind¾ it is so important to understand the difference. It explains our need as men for pornography. Not exactly what you thought is it? You thought it was about sex, when in reality it is about our empowerment over the matrix’s version of beauty.

Have you ever wondered why women can dress so sexual as defined by our culture and be so offended when men see them as such? It is because what the matrix has defined as sexual is really not a woman’s sexuality. Women have had to adapt to their cultures definition of what a woman should be, all the while inside they know it to be a lie. Men are not that smart, they have been duped into believing every woman is essentially a whore. I remember hearing someone make that last statement that not all women are whores and thinking how stupid could I be. I really did believe it, and it is frightening how many men today believe it as well, not to mention our young men and women, that are being indoctrinated with this belief. The soft core stars know it is an act, unfortunately young girls and boys watching them through the media’s eyes are not aware it is an act and truly believe it, and try to live it. This is just one area I think the church has been negligent in addressing because it has not seen pornography as a symptom of something much greater. Our young girls are suffering and we need to start doing something about it!

This false sense of what a woman’s sexuality is, and her need to conform to it, is just one area where pornography is affecting women as well as men. You see pornography should not, should never be seen as just a man’s problem. It is our cultures problem, a problem that affects women and children as much as it does men¾ albeit in totally different ways. But ways both men and women need to see, and come together to understand what is going on and find ways of dealing with it. Men how would you like to get up every day and spend hours making yourself into something or someone you weren’t? What would that do to your self-esteem do you think? Teenage girls are not committing suicide for no reason. Our kids are not exploiting their bodies on "My Space" because it is the natural thing to do. They do it because they are constantly being programmed by the matrix that this is how you gain value in this society. This is what it means to be a woman, to be beautiful. They aren’t trying to be sluts, they are trying to be what our culture says is beautiful. Do you understand?

We have to begin talking about this problem in our churches and not leave it to twelve step programs for pornography addicts and men’s mentoring and accountability groups. And we can’t think that a retreat for kids, or a half hour class in Bible school, is going to make a dent in the constant banging away of the matrix twenty four seven. We have to stop the matrix’s influence on our kids to make a difference. We need to get real people! We need to wake-up to the reality of fate and its affects on us and our kids. It is so ridiculous that the church does not understand this and is sitting by letting our kids and families suffer like this. It absolutely breaks your heart that God’s word is not being spoken in this area, and when it is, it is so diluted by the matrix’s influence it is completely ineffectual. Well, maybe not completely ineffectual. The truth has a power unmatched by the world, but we must make sure we are speaking to the issues. We need to start talking about what is real, what kids are experiencing on a daily basis, about things that matter to kids. Let’s bring the truth into the twenty-first century. The problem is so much larger than the church seems to be able to admit and we have to come to terms with these problems!

I was talking to a lady about all this recently and she sort of disagreed with me in regards to the truth setting us free. She said, “Just look at how many kids are smoking today, even after all the money we have spent educating them on how dangerous it is for your health.” But here is the problem. Kids don’t stop smoking for health reasons because they don’t smoke for health reasons. They smoke to be cool (Do they still use that word?); they smoke to fit in, just like they have from the beginning. We have addressed all the wrong issues when it comes to smoking. Although I think she is wrong, smoking is down, but do you see my point? If we are going to stop kids from seeing beauty as just something external we have got to get to the real issues. All the talk of holiness and purity miss the point, if true beauty and issues of power are not addressed.

You see we need to wise up to the fact that the creators of the matrix don’t care what kind of havoc they are playing on our families, our children, our men and women. They don’t care that they are killing people and destroying lives. All that matters is whether they are making money. It gives James statement that money is the root of all evil a whole new perspective.

SIDE EFFECT OF POWER SHIFT

The side effects of this shift in power from where, if you can think back to the old black and white movies, a man’s character was the stimulus for women, to nowadays where a woman’s exploited skin has become the stimulus is tremendous. This exploitation of women’s skin is all about manipulating men; it is about having power over men. Hollywood has turned things on there head, and the results are so staggering we can’t begin to understand all the side effects.

This shift in power has made men see sex as a way of dominating this new power. Ask any woman married to a man who is involved in pornography and they’ll be keenly aware of this fact. Men though may not be so aware. Women I’m sure will find this hard to believe, but remember how effective the matrix is at hiding its lies. Lies are by there very nature designed to hide the truth. If we consider our food analogy again, we don’t really know why we crave sweets, we just do. The fact that corn syrup is put into almost every food we eat may have something to do with it, but we simply don’t realize we are being manipulated. We don’t know why we are getting fatter in America it is just happening. Do you see how stupid we can be when it comes to recognizing the affects of the matrix? You see most men don’t understand what it is that is driving them to pornography. And they don’t understand why they have become so aggressive in their sex life either. That is what I am trying to reveal to both husbands and wives, and hopefully in doing so disarm the matrix, make it visible so we can deal with the lie.

One thing about power is that once we as humans have tasted its fruit we want more. Men want more, women want more and on and on it goes. The matrix has started us down the path of thinking about sex as a way of gaining power, but pornography has taken the ball and run with it. Men involved in pornography must find newer and greater experiences of power once they have begun down that road. You see most people don’t even realize that pornography is really not about sex, but power. This is how the matrix has set things up. You have no doubt heard psychologist or therapist say rape is not about sex it is about power, but pornography is also about power. The more taboo a thing is the more power men feel. We are not just going against a woman we are going against an entire society. The possibilities are endless and once you understand this it all begins to make sense. I won’t go into detail here but men . . . think about what it is that is exciting you? Can you see the power issues? If you can’t try thinking about what is normal and compare the two. This should make it very clear that pornography really is about abuse, and abuse is one person exerting power over another. It is about degrading another person. You must see it for what it really is.

Again I can’t emphasize enough this does not just affect men. Women also are caught in this matrix as well. What affect does it have on a woman when sex is about power? Can you see what I am talking about, can you see the matrix? Women don’t want to have sex in their marriage’s anymore. Why would they? Because they want to be loved, not dominated, not abuse and used. They can’t understand why their husbands are acting the way they are, and for the most part, the husbands don’t understand it either. Our young boys and girls are not disaffected by this either. They too begin to see that power can be had through aggression and exploiting themselves. But what young girls don’t understand is that when this exploitation of themselves passes a point, a point they can’t see or understand, it produces something quite different than the power they thought they would gain. Boyfriends instead of kowtowing and fawning over them because of their sexual behavior begin to abuse them when they cross over from soft porn stars to real porn. But the girls just know that boys love Christina Aguilera and they want the same attention.

THE MILLION DOLLAR ANTIDOTE TO LUST

The million dollar antidote to lust is a woman that has not sold out to the matrix and still understands were her true beauty lies. The most depressing and sad thing about what the matrix has done to us is the loss of our women’s identity, their true beauty and sexuality. Sexuality now is all about the outside appearances and instant gratification. It is no longer about inner beauty and building relationships in which two people can truly become one.

I want to tell you about an amazing experience I had some forty years ago. I don’t remember a lot of Bible school classes from my childhood, but I do remember this one. I was in junior high at the time attending church camp. One of the classes offered was on beauty. It was taught by a college girl that frankly, I thought was a little homely. She wasn’t wearing any make-up, and her cloths were very simple and plain. The only thing I could find beautiful about her was her long brown hair. These were my observations before her class began. Now for the amazing part. By the time she had finished her class I couldn’t believe the transformation. In thirty minutes her spirit shown so brightly from her eyes and smile that I thought she was one of the most beautiful girls I had ever met. How could we loose site of this? How? It makes me cry uncontrollably every time I go back and read this paragraph. We have lost so much and don’t realize it. How in forty years could I have only heard this message one time so loud and clear? It is absolute negligence on the church’s part that this message is not being spoken loud and clear in our society today. Absolute negligence.

Men and women must again realize what makes a woman beautiful. We must teach our children the lie of the matrix. This is when I wish I could take you out of the matrix like Morpheus did Neo and show you, because it is so hard to describe only in words. You literally have to see it to believe it. When you start to understand the matrix’s definition of beauty in comparison to true beauty it will make you sick. It will literally make you turn your head from what in the past you couldn’t stop yourself from looking at. When you start looking at women that display inner beauty, as compared to those women formed by the matrix you will be amazed at the difference. Understand I am not just talking about women that dress simply and don’t wear make-up. I’ve seen some very ugly spirits shining through these women as well. I’m talking about women that, as Paul says, adorn themselves with good works. Women that joy, and kindness, and compassion, and a gentle spirit can be seen in their eyes and smiles, not hidden by external adornment, but because of the lack of it show what is truly important to them. Women today think their make-up and their revealing clothing make them beautiful, but in reality it is a distraction from their real beauty. I’m begging women in the church today that have true inner beauty, not to distract from that beauty by giving in to the matrix’s external adornment, don’t give even an inch. Hold your ground and be an example to all women and men where real beauty lies, and this is so important, don’t let the matrix’s definition of beauty be a distraction from that beauty.

I’ve had men constantly ask in pornography groups how do we deal with lustful thoughts? This is the million dollar antidote to lust, true beauty. The next time you find yourself lusting for pornography you must immediately identify what you are really lusting for¾ power! I can’t say it enough times; you have to get this into your head and heart. It is not about sex. The antidote for this desire for power is true beauty. I want you to visualize a woman with true beauty¾ the kind that shines out of her eyes and beams from her smile. A beauty that is not in the least intimidating¾ you would have absolutely no anxiety about approaching this woman because you know she would be gracious and kind. True beauty does not in any way instill the need within us for power or lust. Unfortunately I need to add here that I’m not talking about innocents, true beauty is much more than innocents. Pornographers have used innocents to give men the feeling of more power, but we are talking about something that diffuses this need for power, that eliminates and cancels out power because it is a whole different dynamic. I’m not even talking about submissiveness here either; I’m really talking about a woman that inspires love on a level that the matrix cannot understand. When you face thoughts of lust you must immediately recognize what it is you are lusting for and you must place before your minds eye true beauty. When you can do this you will find lust has no power over you. You will be like Neo and be able to simply raise you hands and the bullets will fall to the ground. It is truly amazing what the transforming power of a women adorned on the inside can make on a man’s heart. Men you want to know what joy is, place before your eyes true beauty and you will find it.

Now we get to the sad part of this exercise of expelling lust. The person you visualize as having this beauty that can extinguish the lie of the matrix will most likely not be your girlfriend or your wife. Frankly I can almost guarantee it. Why? For one thing it is extremely rare to find a woman today that exhibits these qualities. Remember it is not just men that live in the matrix women do as well. Women are just as influenced by the matrix as men and they have learned to desire power and its corrupting qualities just as much as men. And dare I say that your addiction to pornography is not only your problem but both you and your wife’s. Hear me very clear here, I am not saying your addiction is because of your wife, I am saying that the solution must rest in both you and your wife understanding the lie being told to both of you by the matrix. It is a power issue. Women are constantly deluded into thinking it is about their looks, but that is only because they also are being deceived by the matrix. It is not about how you look on the outside, it is how you look on the inside.

One of the reasons why I am so sure this picture of true beauty wont be your wife is something psychologist call co-dependence. Which means they are trying to control you and by so doing only aggravating this desire for power in you? It is a paradox which seems to have no easy answers. One of the most frustrating things I encountered in the use of the twelve step programs for helping addicts is that their marriages never were healed. Every meeting was about the continuing conflicts they were having with their wives. Women married to men involved in pornography cannot submit to their husbands. If they did men would simply abuse them. Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. Every man and woman involved in pornography knows what I’m talking about here. Submission is not the answer. It actually makes things worse. Now that you know the dynamics and the lie of the matrix you should be completely clear on why this is. But again let's consider the paradox here. Women cannot exert power over their husbands or boyfriends without it again pushing them further into pornography. So what is the solution? I think, and this is just my opinion, but I think any relationship that becomes co-dependent becomes sick. For a healthy relationship I think interdependence is the solution. Each person must see they are a part of the problem and work as individuals on fixing themselves. Unfortunately the way we have been dealing with pornography is to make it a male only problem, when it’s not, and half the solution is missing. Which in reality means the whole solution is missing.

The solution to this problem must always take into account the power aspects of what is going on, for both men and women. And it must address the issues of true beauty and what the matrix has defined as beauty. Each person must work individually to become what God wants them to be. What does that mean for women? It means making God the source of their self-esteem, not their husbands. It means gaining a love for themselves not based on their appearance but the good they do, the fruit’s of the spirit, etc. For men it means regaining self respect and understanding the dynamics that are going on in their relationships. Without both people working on the problem success is very slim. I read somewhere, I believe in one of Dr. Patrick Carnes’s books that men seeking help without there wives have only about a 12% chance of success. So why do we just have classes for men? Good question, why? It is possible to talk about this problem in mixed company. I hope this book has made that clear. We need a new approach, and couples getting help instead of just men, has to be a part of the solution.

This power struggle in our marriages is what is killing our marriages and we must find a new way of dealing with it as couples. Look at what the matrix has done to marriage and you will be flabbergasted that any of our marriages last. The Bible says a woman should respect her husband and a man should love his wife. Respect and love are at the core of a healthy marriage. Now look at what the matrix, and its lies about a woman’s sexuality, has done to marriage. It has destroyed both. We must start to fix this problem by men regaining their self respect and women loving themselves. How can we ask someone to respect us if we don’t respect ourselves? And how can we ask someone to love us if we don’t love ourselves. But the really difficult question is how we can do this in marriages that, because of the lies of the matrix, only fuel the fire of further degradation instead of healing. The matrix has completely destroyed the proper dynamics of our marriages so there is going to be a lot of work needed to restore the proper dynamics. And this is so obvious I shouldn’t even need to say it, but we have got to start all this by eliminating the cause of these warped beliefs. We have got to check out of the matrix! We have got to eliminate its influence on us by removing its means of indoctrination¾ the media. I know that is hard, I said in the introduction I don’t offer easy solutions, but we must try as best we can.

I hope you are beginning to see the real problem in our marriages because of the matrix’s influence. More disrespect of a husband because of his uncontrolled behavior and more power over a woman instead of love simply perpetuates the problem. Even a woman who is spiritual, but tries to lead her husband by guilt to freedom from pornography only drives him to it more. He feels the disrespect and she feels the lack of love and it becomes a downward spiral. Submission of the wife to a husband in pornography is only a recipe for disaster as well. Submission only works when the power struggle is removed from a relationship and that means from both the man and the woman. It is truly heart breaking to see good marriages failing today because we have not properly understood this dynamic. Most of our attempts to fix our marriages only worsen the situation. I have seen good Christian people, myself included, give the most insanely inadequate solutions to our present day situation. This area I’m afraid I have no good solutions except that each individual separate and work independently on their problems and then reunite. This is sort of Paul’s advice, to separate for a set time of prayer, and then reunite so that we don’t give the Devil opportunities to exploit our real sexual needs. This is very hard advice to follow, but I see no other solution.

DON’T STOP BY FIXING HALF THE PROBLEM

I was going to add this on to the previous section but I decided it was too important and needed its own segment. Wives if your husband is getting help for his pornography problem you may find it easy to begin respecting him. But listen to me; this is so important you understand, it is not enough. If you stop there you have only fixed half the problem. You must learn to love yourself. You must inspire in your husband that true beauty he will be longing for if he reads this book, you must give him an even greater ability to kill his lusts by adorning yourself with goodness. You too must go through a transformation, and it won’t be easy. Just as men have tremendous difficulties freeing their minds from the years of training by the matrix, you too will have trouble freeing yourself. But find friends and family that understand this problem and have them encourage and pray for you, and with you. Don’t let the matrix tell you you are unworthy of love because of how you look on the outside, it is the inside that truly counts. Begin studying the Bible like you never have before and let God’s spirit begin to shine through you again. Reject the lie of the matrix that your value and beauty lies in the external adornment of yourself and begin adorning the inside. Strip away the influences that make you feel the need for power, just as your husband will have to do.

Remember your beauty has been suppressed by your husband and the matrix and it will take time to regain a proper understanding of what true beauty is. But remember once your husband begins to see the matrix the old ways of making yourself beautiful, make-up, jewelry, fancy hair styles, revealing clothing may not have the same effect, but the opposite. It doesn’t mean he is not interested in you, he is just not excited anymore by what the matrix calls beauty. Instill sexual intimacy in your marriage by being beautiful on the inside and sex will come naturally. My wife never could understand when I had control of my addiction why my sex drive was less. She thought she wasn’t beautiful enough to stimulate those feelings in me. (Women have it all wrong when they believe they are competing with women in pornography on the basis of beauty. Remember it has nothing to do with beauty, and everything to do with power.) What she didn’t realize was that those stimuli that had worked in the past were based on the matrix’s idea of beauty and what I really needed to stimulate me was true beauty. I have a saying now that true beauty is not something seen with the eyes, but felt with the heart.

Husbands you may finally be seeing the light at the end of the tunnel on how to defeat pornography in your life, but you must not stop there either. I know that many of you truly love your wives and always have. The problem is you have lost self respect. Remember forgiveness and the complete acceptance of it is crucial to complete recovery. You must understand fate in your life and how God can forgive you. This process of recovery will be exciting and you will need to take the initiative in letting your wife in on your new ways of thinking. Let her know that the old ways are gone by finding whole new things to compliment her on besides just her looks. Tell her you love her when she is being supportive of you, you love how she has raised your kids, you love her gentleness and kindness towards others, you appreciate her kind words and her thoughtfulness, her joy and sense of humor. You are no longer encouraging the matrix’s form of beauty, but God’s idea of beauty. Talk about it, grow together, be the same person in her presents as you are in her absence and gain your self respect back. Be a spiritual leader again and a good father, husband and son.

CONCLUSION

In conclusion I want you to again remind you how important it is that both male and female believe in fate. Every action has a reaction, every thought, idea or influence affects us. The matrix is not some fictional thing, it is real. It is affecting you and your family right now. Oh Church I beg you, and the spirit within me begs you, preach the truth in these areas. Show us our pride in believing we can be wise, that we are not the masters of our own destiny. Show us how easily Satan can deceive us and that death came to all men because of one man’s sin. Show us that there was a reason God called his people out of Egypt and told them to destroy everything that could influence them. Expose the lie that pornography is just a man’s issue that can be delegated to some back room in the church, but rather is an issue that both men and women, young and old must address for true healing to occur. Be the Zion that lays deep in the earth unaffected by the matrix’s influence.